Going back to school was always an exciting time for me. A new school year seemed to mark the beginning of everything--a chance for new friends, new things to learn, new people to crush on, and most importantly, the opportunity to reinvent yourself (if you wanted to).  Of course, it was also an opportunity to royally screw up--but that's all part of the learning process, right?

I came across My So-Called Life episodes when I was in 8th grade when it debuted and knew I needed to see the show. After catching commercials, I knew that seeing an introspective teenage girl on TV was mold-breaking and spoke to my need to see smart women reflected, well, anywhere.  So whiIe I desperately tried to sneak watching snippets of My So-Called Life episodes (it wasn't allowed in the religious family I lived with), I never actually got the chance to watch more than a few dramatic scenes...until I bought the DVD collection in 2007.

Speaking of the collection, can we just talk about how fucking cool it is that not only were they able to release the series with the original music* but the love and attention that was put into the packaging and design to make it a collector's item? I mean, the DVD box itself is set to look like a book with it's built-in bookmark, the episode guide looks like a kick-ass plaid composition book (complete with Janeane Garafaolo and Joss Whedon waxing poetic about how much the show meant to them), photos taken from the show, and the almost DIY/zine-reminiscent drawings on top of each DVD that tease about the theme of a pivotal scene on each DVD.  It's fucking spectacular (yes, a lot of swears have been dropped, but I believe they're warranted due to the all-around awesomeness of the show and packaging involved...in my humble opinion ;P). All hail Shout! Factory for releasing this short-lived but dense series.  

So in honor of that back to school excitement and My So-Called Life's recent 20th anniversary, I've decided to do a series rewatch and think about what the show meant for me then, what it means to me now, and other random observations.  Let's take a trip down memory lane with a show that was a prototype for other angsty teen shows to come, while no other show I can think of came close to touching it with enough heart, introspection, and politics while capturing the anxiety and earnestness of being a teenager since (and yes, I can hear you WB fans gasping in disbelief *smile*).

*Music rights seem to be the problem between not releasing amazing shows and letting them gather dust or changing the entire music in the series because it would otherwise be too costly and/or cumbersome to go through the process *cough* Daria without the original music *cough*

After my melodramatic (but true) post in January, I'm focusing my efforts in a few different places but most noticeably fashion.  I've been doing B-School, trying to get in touch with designers I admire, trying to do research on fabrics, etc.

It's really scary but really exciting at the same time.  Since I decided my motto for this year would be "action," I've got to follow through instead of bemoaning my life all the time and actually get to work.  So that's what I've been trying to do.

Time to kick some butt.  Pa-pa-pa-POW!!!

You could count me a lurker on other people's blogs that have become refuges for me (the tiny house movement and the minimalist movement, to be precise).  But now I've decided that I need to put myself out there.  And there's a really great quote that speaks to that idea I can't remember...it's something along the lines of "the need to express myself outweighed the fear it took to remain safe" ***Bonus points for anyone who can help me out with this*** :)

Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm finally beginning to understand when people say you start to feel more comfortable in your own skin once you hit 30.  And I'm beginning to give myself permission to know that it's ok to go after my dreams even if I'm scared.  The truth of the matter is is that I'm deeply unhappy working for other people and in my current job and I have been since I started back in 2001.  Don't get me wrong: while I'm happy to have an income and count myself very lucky that I have a job right now when others are unemployed and struggling, I know that I've been putting off being creative in lieu of what I've trained myself to be: practical and efficient.

And it's killing me.

The good news is that lately I've been running across people's stories that remind me that I already know deep down what I need to do. And the beautiful thing is I don't have to wait for other people to tell me what I already know or look to someone else to have all the answers.  Because the truth of the matter is, no one does--no matter how much I or anyone else might wish it.

So what am I going to be focusing on in this little online haven?  This blog is going to be all about how I'm becoming a different, new person and learning to trust myself in the process.  I'm going to be trying a lot of different things and seeing if they stick.  Like photography of people, nature, graffiti, etc. Writing about where I'm at in my head and giving myself advice (hopefully it will help other people, too).  Showing some ideas for t-shirts and art projects that involve interviewing other people (gaining the "wisdom of the crowd" is definitely something I'm interested in).

So I'm glad you stopped by and I hope you'll stick around for my journey, because we're all in this together :) 

Photo: Sunrise over the Columbia River near the Washington-Oregon Border. 05/1973